ban of 'blackout in a can' essential for safety, health
If you’ve never heard of Four Loko, you are either someone who refrains from social media, or you live in Urbana. Either way, give yourself a pat on the back.This piece was written by Tim Knudsen. I know he was just trying to be funny... but fuck you tim knudsen.
Four Loko is often bluntly referred to as a “blackout in a can” and has lived up to this expectation. One can of the drink, which is 23.5 ounces, includes the alcohol content of six cans of light beer and the caffeine of two cups of coffee, according to Washington Liquor Control Board spokesman Brian Smith. Even consumed separately, this is a lot of either substance. But combined, this is as dangerous as Springfield Avenue in the dark.Alright, so how much alcohol is in a can of light beer? Bud light is 4.2% ABV per 12 ounce serving. Thats... .504 ounces of ethyl alcohol in each can of bud light. If you drank a six pack, you'd be consuming 3.024 ounces of straight ethyl alcohol (the equivalent of three shots of everclear). Unless my math is wrong (it's been wrong before), (23.5 / 3.024= abv) the ABV of four loko is 7.77%. Which really isn't that high. The fact that it's a 23.5 ounce can, is the issue. The fact that it tastes like koolade, is the issue.
When caffeine brings your body up, and alcohol brings your body down, the two don’t cancel each other’s effects out — they exacerbate them. The caffeine will hide the depressant effects of alcohol and make you feel more stimulated. This will prohibit your body from putting itself to sleep when it wants to protect you from drinking more. With this, danger has arrived. The drunk (yet awake) version of you isn’t going to tell you to stop drinking, and this how so many college-aged kids recently have been hospitalized.How much did these people ingest in a short period of time? It wouldn't matter what they are drinking.The same results would happen if someone took 6 cherry bombs in a short period of time. And I don't see this author calling for a ban of cherry vodka and red bull.
Buying this is "the only sensible thing to do". Actually, buying a fifth of everclear and a package of koolade (the generic kind) is the only sensible thing to do, if all you want is to get drunk. Or you can drink aqua velva.
It’s easy to explain the risks of Four Loko, so what could possibly be its benefits?
It’s cheap. Four Loko is only $2.69 a can at Hometown Pantry on Green Street. In the college binge-drinking culture, many students drink just to get drunk. Considering what it contains, Four Loko is definitely one of the most economical ways to get drunk. In these hard economic times, buying a Four Loko as opposed to buying a six-pack is the only sensible thing to do — smart college students recognize this.
Talk of banning a drink, only makes people want it more.
Four Loko is 23.5 ounces of college student in a can, plain and simple. Its “benefits” would make our parents raise an eyebrow.
The drink is trendy, and will most likely sink into oblivion with the likes of Ed Hardy and upside-down visors. If not, its risks will ultimately lead to its rightful demise.
Oh, and Ed Hardy has his own beer line. Apparently, the author is unaware.