My last cigarette was at 11:15pm yesterday. I'm currently 11 hours into this fun ride of withdrawal and triggers. I really want a cigarette right now.
No, I REALLY want one right now. My body almost just got up and walked out the door to go have one. Even though I know I need to make it through the 72 hours, right now, I want to smoke.
I can feel my heart racing. Well, it feels like it is, although I just checked my pulse and it's relatively normal. It just feels like my heart is throbbing. I'm having a bit of trouble focusing my attention. My brain just wants nicotine. (It's probably not helping matters that I'm sitting here typing about nicotine... ah nicotine... how I love you...).
I'm kind of jittery.
This is the fun stuff.
Honestly, If I can try to control my urge to actually stand up and walk outside and smoke, this is kind of fun. I don't think too many other people would consider this fun... but right now, this feeling, it reminds me of that first cigarette. (I've had that first cigarette a couple times, this is my third time at the stopping).
The first cigarette, it makes you light headed. It makes you jittery. It makes you cough.
I don't have a headache (but then I don't get headaches). I'm not physically sore from withdrawal (yet) I'm kind of stiff from softball last night, but that's not nicotine related.
So, what can I do when this feeling hits. The biggest thing is to avoid nicotine. This feeling will pass. Eventually. I may have some strong desires right now to smoke, but those will be gone in about 62 hours. Also, this is only 11 hours, this is nothing. The real good stuff is yet to come.
If I had a cigarette right now, I'd be at this exact same point tonight at midnight. I'm not willing to do that.
To make this time pass, the easiest way to calm down is to focus on my breathing and take deep breaths. If that doesn't calm me down, I can go for a walk. Triggers kick in the symptoms. Taking a walk will remove me from the trigger, then it's broken.
It's almost the half day point. I've gone longer than this without smoking when I've been asleep. This is just a craving brought on by a trigger. Calm down...
Today will be a day of trigger breaking, tonight should be fun. For me, historically, the second day, around 6 pm, hour 42 has always been the point where I freak out.
I probably won't write about what I'm going through again today, so follow me on twitter (link in the top left) for live updates throughout the evening. It should be a fun day.