Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I'm no quitter... except when I am (quitting smoking, part 1)

Well, softball season is now over, so that means... it's time for me to stop smoking.

Last night around 11 pm I had my last cigarette until next softball season. That will be in April sometime. So, I'll have stopped for about 6 months. Many people wonder why I quit and then start up again. Currently, the only reason I stop is because Kridz doesn't like smoking.

So, why quit? (why quit anything)

To me, there is only one reason to stop smoking. (There is only one reason to stop anything). That reason is... you hate what you see in the mirror. That is the only reason why you will ever make a change that you will stick with. Unless you truly can't stand what you are, you will never be able to make a change in yourself that will last.

To make a change that will truly impact you, you have to hate yourself. If you don't truly despise yourself (and can attribute it to the one thing), you will not be able to hold that change. Without the hatred, you will be able to justify going back to that thing.

For example, what are some of the reasons people stop smoking? It's expensive, it makes food taste bad, it stinks, (insert person here) doesn't like it, bad breath, medical issues, you are the only one in your friends who smokes, just to see if you can... the list goes on and on.

For every one of those reasons, you can come up with an excuse to go back. If one of those reasons is why you stopped, if that reason is removed (or justified) you can go back.

Unless you can pinpoint that you hate yourself for a reason, and that reason is smoking, you can go back.

Atheists (like me) have some favorite bible verses. One that most of them use is Luke 14:26. Often times, that verse is taken out of context. In fact, I think I'm one of the few people who actually understands that verse. It's about quitting.

Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
Most of the time, when that verse is used, people say that to be Jesus disciple you have to hate your family. That's not what it's about. Jesus (who's existence I deny), here was saying that in order to make the change that is required to be his disciple, you have to hate what you are so much, that when you make the change, you'll stick with it.

Do you know what I've never heard of? A man who does "straight" porn, who found Jesus and left the industry. Women find Jesus and leave, men who do gay porn find Jesus and leave, but guys who have sex with girls in movies never find Jesus, why? Those guys don't hate themselves. They may get AIDS, leave the industry, then find Jesus; but they just don't leave.

It's OK though, Jesus doesn't want them. Why? Because those guys love what they do too much to be able to make the change. They will go back to whatever (whoever) it was they were doing before. (if you would like me to continue on with the hatred of yourself/christianity, let me know).

So, why are you quitting?

I'm quitting for the wrong reason. That's why I'll start again. It'll be sometime in April

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