God needs a haircut

I just finished reading Ezekiel 5. In it, God makes Ezekiel shave off his hair and beard.

Ezekiel 5

¹ And thou, son of man, take thee a sharp knife, take thee a barber's razor, and cause it to pass upon thine head and upon thy beard: then take thee balances to weigh, and divide the hair.

That sounds nice. God wants Ezekiel to shave his head and cut off his beard. No big deal.

²Thou shalt burn with fire a third part in the midst of the city, when the days of the siege are fulfilled: and thou shalt take a third part, and smite about it with a knife: and a third part thou shalt scatter in the wind; and I will draw out a sword after them.

Ok, this is getting weird. Burn a third; smite a third with a knife; throw a third in the air.

⁸Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I, even I, am against thee, and will execute judgments in the midst of thee in the sight of the nations.

⁹And I will do in thee that which I have not done, and whereunto I will not do any more the like, because of all thine abominations.

Ok, what Ezekiel did to his hair is representative of what God was going to do to Jerusalem. 1/3 of it will be burned (destroyed during the Babylonian Siege) 1/3 will be killed by the sword (trying to escape the siege). 1/3 will be blown to the wind (taken into captivity). None will be left.

¹²A third part of thee shall die with the pestilence, and with famine shall they be consumed in the midst of thee: and a third part shall fall by the sword round about thee; and I will scatter a third part into all the winds, and I will draw out a sword after them.

Like I just said.

How does this fit in with what we know about God as a gardener? It's the exact same guy. He even does the exact same thing.

God wakes up one day and says that he hates his hair and his beard. What does he do? Does he go to a barber and get a shave and a haircut (2 bits)? Does he take out some scissors and just try to get rid of the clumpy parts? Does he take a shower and try to style it? Nope, not the God of the old testament. The same guy who plows under his whole garden because he let it get overrun with weeds.

This guy doesn't even take care of his hair. He doesn't shampoo it daily. He doesn't wet, lather, rinse, repeat. No, he wakes up one day and is angry at the hair for not looking the way he wants, even though he hasn't done any grooming.

So what does he do?

He takes a razor and shaves off his head.

But that's not enough.

The hair that he shaved off he has to ridicule a bit more before he lets it go.

God doesn't realize that the hair that's going to grow back is the same hair as before. He didn't remove the hair roots, he just got rid of the hair. Unless he got laser surgery, it'd be the same hair. It's up to him to trim it, dye it, comb it, style it.

I don't know anyone who has nice hair that they've never done anything too.

Do you?