Tuesday, May 13, 2008

OCD- Obsessive Compulsive Drunkenness

I'm somewhat OCD. I've also probably got a slight case of ADD. This combination means that I do things really hard and really fast, but then my focus shifts and I do something else.

There was a time when I was the cleaning kind of guy. I once cleaned my bathroom five times in a day, the friggin mirror just wouldn't stay clean, and as long as I was in there, I might as well clean the toilet, and vacuum, and get the soap scum... and... and... I've always kind of been this way; I'm a collector.

When I was in high school, I had a nice yo-yo collection. Some were good, some were cheapo's but if I saw a new yo-yo, I'd get it, even if it was the crappy five-cent one at the pharmacy; I'd get it.

There were (and still are) periods in my life when I wouldn't be collecting anything. I'm not sure how that happens, but it seems when it does, I spend a lot of time watching TV. (Yes, I like Monk).

Other things I've collected have been Clive Barker books (I got one in Thailand back in 1994). Magic books and card tricks; unfortunately I have tiny hands so most tricks are beyond my ability. Yo-yo's again, originally in 88-89, the second time in 99; I've got the SB2 , it's a great yo-yo.
At other periods, I've read; I've made "artsy" things; ran; swam; and played computer games. During the games phase, it would be common for me to spend 18 hours a day, each day of the weekend on the computer.

Well, now it's beer. Everything now seems to revolve around beer. Oh, how I love beer. And what's really great is how beer lends itself to compulsion nicely.

There are so many different makes of beer, just look to the left at this years list. How many different ways are there that one can be OCD about beer?

First, you can try to sample as many different beers as possible. This one is pretty fun. You go somewhere new and get more beer. It's also a rather interesting conversation piece, for example, last year I probably had 1199 (or possibly 1200, because I found a bottle that isn't on my list) different beers. Counting the ones I had more than once, I probably had about 2000 pints/bottles/glasses of beer last year. That's a lot of fluids. You may say it's not possible to drink that much, well, it's ONLY 5 a day. Sheesh.

Second, you can collect things with beer. There's cool bottles that make great decorations. How many "good" beer drinkers have a collection of some of the bottles that they've drank? Heck, even crappy beer drinkers have been known to be collectors. Look at that Coors Light guy.

He drank 24 a day for 8 years. That's more than 70,000 cans of beer. And I thought I had a lot of beer-aphanalia.

I've got a spare bedroom that's full of some great bottles, most empty. Some are in storage. In addition to the bottles, the bottle caps are also collectible. This guy has a lot of caps. I took part of my caps and covered my coffee table. I should have enough to do my end tables soon. Collecting beer caps is easy for beer drinkers, they don't take up much space, and most are somewhat unique. If you have a decent memory you can tell a story for most of the caps. Or you can probably BS one.

Next part of beer that leads to OCD is the beer cellar.

I just started my cellar last year. The first beer I stored for later was/is Three Floyd's Dark Lord 2007. My cellar started with 6 bottles. There are two remaining. Every time someone asks if we can crack open a bottle, I turn into a different creature.Give me the beer, my precioussssss.

I've got quite the nice collection of beer going now. Most of it is under a year old, but at the rate I'm gathering my cache of beer, I'd be set for beer for years... that is if I ever drank it.

The thing that probably lends itself best to OCD is brewing beer. If you like to wash things, I've got just the thing for you... brewing beer. If you like to stand over a stove and stir for hours just so that you can ensure one step of the process comes out good; I've got just the thing for you ... brewing beer. If you like to clean (did I mention that) ... brewing beer. When I brew, the first step is to wash everything you are going to use. When I brew, the last step is to wash everything that I've used. There's pans, buckets, spoons, wort chillers, tubes, a hydrometer, and a bagillion other things that you can clean. Not only that, but it leads to perfectionism too. You don't want to put your grains into water that is too hot, nor too cold. What could be better for a person who has a collection of pre-moistened cleaning towelettes than to have to clean something twice? At least twice.

Now you may think, that a person who hates change as much as an OCD person wouldn't want to do all the different beers, but that is actually comforting too. The always having a different beer is just as soothing as the person who never does anything different. It's almost discomforting to have the same beer. Have you ever had a panic attack because there was only Bud, miller and coors products available?

One of the best parts about Beer related OCD is that just the process of having a few beers will help numb some of the anxiety that can come from other parts of it.

So how much BOCD do you think you have?


Chipper Dave said...

I've become enamored with fine craft beers increasingly so over the last year. Probably the last 6 months in particular. While I haven't the numbers you've compiled, I still enjoy a beer or two a day. Anything more than that and I get sluggish and start shutting down for the night. I'm starting to collect panels off of the 6-pack and 4-pack holders as well as collect caps and a few bottles. Not to mention my growing beer glass collection. It's so easy to find something to collect when your goal is to sample as many different beers as possible. My other collection is casino chips. I used to grab any new chip that I could find. But now I simply enjoy looking at them in my collection.

vgrid said...

Man, I totally forgot about the glasses collection. Glasses for certain beer styles, glasses from a bar/brewery, glasses for a special beer release.

Did you ever order a beer you didn't want, just because they would give you a neat glass that you could add to your collection?

Should I mention that beer drinking can also lead to kleptomania; or is that for a different day?